tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post4883775125019008728..comments2023-10-15T07:36:05.092-07:00Comments on A Piece Of Mind: The Throne (RWP#111)Cynthia Shorthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12386358503730817278noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-40004526030993421272010-02-01T13:34:34.488-07:002010-02-01T13:34:34.488-07:00I love the whole thing, especially your last stanz...I love the whole thing, especially your last stanza. Is he Abram, begging destruction staved off for our sakes? I get the sense of a man holding up his canopy of silence under which he pleas, struggles, and supplications. The "broken promise land" mention set the tone for this piece. Well done.<br /><br />-NicoleRaven's Wing Poetryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08576438868694047958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-80683616209638230552010-01-31T23:38:54.476-07:002010-01-31T23:38:54.476-07:00This warrior with unbending soul,
determined never...This warrior with unbending soul,<br />determined never to concede,<br />but bestow his life to beg release,<br />for all the cattle who cannot see.<br /><br />These lines are brilliantJeeveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02059095696768768954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-13934227035143873242010-01-30T00:01:34.520-07:002010-01-30T00:01:34.520-07:00I keep trying to whittle a favored stanza but they...I keep trying to whittle a favored stanza but they are all so beautifully crafted I can't choose only one!Julie Jordan Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06558015761690505791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-41812230312313268342010-01-29T16:20:50.631-07:002010-01-29T16:20:50.631-07:00You're right about "broken promise land.&...You're right about "broken promise land." I'm not familiar with the original, but it's really haunting. I love that this warrior has no intention of conceding despite the arduous battle. Very nice.Jameshttp://coyotemercury.com/blog1noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-31802286993729703912010-01-29T13:28:15.951-07:002010-01-29T13:28:15.951-07:00a great first line for me.....and the rest just fa...a great first line for me.....and the rest just falls into line....thanks for sharing this and also thanks for your comments on my poem Cynthia....cheers from the Rocky MountainsWayne Pitchkohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15376196523487344143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-23534748335291511632010-01-29T11:36:11.780-07:002010-01-29T11:36:11.780-07:00Make that "rhythm."Make that "rhythm."Nathanhttp://disorder1313.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-37429475835802646632010-01-29T11:35:07.039-07:002010-01-29T11:35:07.039-07:00I really like the rythm of these lines, Cynthia.I really like the rythm of these lines, Cynthia.Nathanhttp://disorder1313.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-27461997415230604982010-01-29T09:40:26.247-07:002010-01-29T09:40:26.247-07:00"This warrior with unbending soul". Good..."This warrior with unbending soul". Good job!<br /><br />Pamelaflauberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18424439866515694972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-91125093360720681652010-01-28T22:24:02.925-07:002010-01-28T22:24:02.925-07:00This last stanza brings to mind
'All we like s...This last stanza brings to mind<br />'All we like sheep' from Handel's Messiah.<br />Wonderful rousing warrior music.rallentandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06980559347805844568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-50673546594996708962010-01-28T21:31:24.995-07:002010-01-28T21:31:24.995-07:00I like how you show the individual against the uns...I like how you show the individual against the unseen (unthinking) mass. Adds a lot to the scene, and of course, the poem's point.Debhttp://stoneymoss.org/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-5217866308507813572010-01-28T21:27:55.783-07:002010-01-28T21:27:55.783-07:00A good warrior. Excellent read!A good warrior. Excellent read!Tumblewords:https://www.blogger.com/profile/04279038951489894119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-57946083888475158872010-01-28T20:20:34.492-07:002010-01-28T20:20:34.492-07:00oooh, a warrior! i haven't heard him described...oooh, a warrior! i haven't heard him described that way yet, and i like it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-65159284094906554152010-01-28T12:23:46.477-07:002010-01-28T12:23:46.477-07:00The contest between "a struggle none can win&...The contest between "a struggle none can win" and the determined soul. <br />I don't think it's melodrama if the situation is real.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07490035808297516510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-73843317392564451462010-01-28T09:20:11.813-07:002010-01-28T09:20:11.813-07:00Not too melodramatic, it's just fine. :) And &...Not too melodramatic, it's just fine. :) And "broken promise land" is indeed a powerful phrase, good use of it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285017393769287433.post-10156889360623429092010-01-28T06:05:39.918-07:002010-01-28T06:05:39.918-07:00Hi Cynthia,
There's a nice rhythm to this and...Hi Cynthia,<br /><br />There's a nice rhythm to this and an ancient quality to the words. I hope he goes on begging release for us.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00861397533660827678noreply@blogger.com