March 03, 2010

The Movie in Your Head (RWP #116)

(Charon by H. Koppdelaney)
I was quite taken by this painting. It had such a dreamlike (nightmarish) quality to it. As I have been plagued throughout my life by extremely vivid dreams, I went with that scenario.
In dreamtime

muddling thoughts
carouse and dance
drowsy minds
as childlike
chimera of
gentle, swirling magic
float upon softly
lapping waters.

soon to melt and
into a manic carnival of
throat-choked panic,
blood-drained fear
as demons guide
your empty screams

In dreamtime.



  1. Hi Cynthia,

    I think I'd prefer the first half of your dreams - the gentle, floaty, magic part!

  2. Dreamtime. Nice conflation of the mythic and the psychological in a single word! Beautifully appropriate to this prompt. Nicely done, Cynthia!

    Me, when I was young I had only a handful of dreams that kept repeating year after year until I was about 25. Now I am rarely aware that I have dreamed at all. Believe me, that is preferable...

  3. (I posted this same comment on rwp, I figured you would want the feedback here as well.) I’m getting to be a fan of yours, Cynthia. I like the idea of muddling confused thoughts being chimera. There is a demonic and panicy feeling to this image, I think you caught that in your poem. You might want to look at the use of the word metamorphosis, which you used as a verb, but which is actually a noun. Overall, nicely done, I like it.

  4. Jim...thanks so much for the kind words AND the vocabulary lesson! I have always thought of metamorphosis as a the ACT of changing.

  5. Cynthia, beautifully written. You move from the placid to the turbulent - I feel I am floating and no sooner I am sucked in.

  6. That turns really nightmarish at the end. Reminds me of the narcotic dreams my post-dental surgery painkillers left me with.

    I really like the sound of the words in this. Demons... screams... dream. Nice.

  7. I really like the rhythm of this one... the progression is indeed a bit turbulent, but it wouldn't be an honest representation of dreamtime without it. Commendable!

  8. As upsetting as they are I believe our nightmares have lessons to teach....if we just pay attention. We need the bad to balance (and appreciate) the good.
    I like this a lot.

  9. chimera of
    gentle, swirling magic
    float upon softly
    lapping waters

    I really like this passage -- the juxtaposition of the chimera with the "gentle" is an engaging surprise... nice!


  10. the connection of carney and nightmare is particularly apt. They are both unsettled and unsettling.

  11. This caught my very much by the throat, namely the second stanza ("manic carnival of tumbling, wild-eyed throat-choked panic, blood-drained fear"). My dreams are also very vivid and at times unsettling, some of which bleed into my work. I also like the juxtapositions between the first stanza of dream and the second stanza of nightmare. Well done.


  12. Nice combination of dream and nightmare. Very well done.

  13. Ooooo. Your dream takes a spooky turn. Nice job!

  14. Amazing how dreams start out so well and move into pieces of nightmares - kind of like parts of life. :) I like this piece, a lot!

  15. Oh, those screams, dreamtime, are frightening. Your poem brought me right there - right there!