(freaky photo courtesy of Photobucket)
This piece is from an extremely interesting prompt over at Big Tent Poetry, which led me to the fascinating "Dead Man" poetry of Marvin Bell. There is no way I could ever do justice to his idea, but here is my lame attempt...
The dead girl waits and watches.
No hurry now, nowhere to be.
And in her final, numbing rest,
she listens to the screams of others.
The cries of pain, injustice, fear.
Sadness thick with held-back tears.
The panicked heart, the strangled throat,
it’s all but curiosity to the dead girl.
The dead girl hears each lament.
Even in silence the dark seeps through,
and in her repose, she only knows,
the futility of emotion.
You say a lot in a short space...I especially like the first verse.
ReplyDeleteOn the whole, I prefer your poem to many which usethe prompt form.
ReplyDeleteI have such a literal mind that I couldn't get to grips with Marvin Bell's idea. Thank you for your difference!
Hi Cynthia, As I'm taking a break from poetry I hadn't read the BTP prompt so I was intrigued to find out more. Having read the instructions and one of Mr Bell's pieces, I have to say that I prefer your poem; it is immediately understandable and very strong.
ReplyDeleteI like yours! I wrote only one for the prompt, not two as most have done!
ReplyDeletedead man and his shoe painting
Cynthia I love your approach to the prompt.
ReplyDeleteVery well done.
Pamela
Clear and effective, I also have no problem with losing the form (which I wasn't excited about anyway) here. It's provided some interesting and excellent poems, but this one does just fine without it.
ReplyDeleteThe final, numbing rest...what a lovely phrase. I didn't use Bell's form at all, so I think you interpreted it well.
ReplyDeletepowerful..
ReplyDeleteI found the prompt difficult - perhaps because I'm not enamored by Mr. Bell's lines. But yours has a ring of truth and tale that reads so very well.
ReplyDeleteWow. This packs a whallop. The futility of emotions...!
ReplyDelete"The futility of emotions" got me..yet in life all is feeling.
ReplyDeleteCynthia, Life is but a dream. I love where you took us in this piece. Nice to read your words again!
ReplyDelete~Brenda
Hi, Cynthia. I like your variation on the theme. (Can't really see the Dead Man poems as a form. Must be the Titular Figure getting in my way. perhaps if it had been "insert-stick-drawing-here" )
ReplyDeleteHope you have a happy holiday!
hmmm. the futility of emotion. so difficult to know our feelings can do so little b/c they are so big!
ReplyDeletethis is very good Cynthia......liked reading it very much....thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteThe pump off worked great.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of the dead girl hearing everything.
(JUMP off!) Oy!
ReplyDeleteCynthia, this is great. That futility really comes across.
ReplyDeleteThis is heartbreaking. I wish you had an 'I love this post' button because I love this post. A wonderful poem.
ReplyDeleteGreetings!
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Not lame at all. I like it. The dead girl, so detached, observing and studying those around her.
ReplyDeleteWhat James said, yes, not lame at all. In fact it is is powerfully evocative, with a killer ender...
ReplyDeleteDon't be surprised i have followed you now and will ever.I love the peom.Creativity at work.keep it coming.Meanwhile plz do pass by my blogs page read,follow and comment to aid me improve my works too.Thank you.Lovely day.
ReplyDeleteEBENEZER.
That is a very nice poem:)
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ReplyDeleteoh and this is such an excellent write cynthia! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely fantastic! I am extremely intrigued!
ReplyDelete