December 16, 2010

Listening (BTP prompt)

(freaky photo courtesy of Photobucket)

This piece is from an extremely interesting prompt over at Big Tent Poetry, which led me to the  fascinating "Dead Man" poetry of Marvin Bell.  There is no way I could ever do justice to his idea, but here is my lame attempt...

The dead girl waits and watches.
No hurry now, nowhere to be.
And in her final, numbing rest,
she listens to the screams of others.

The cries of pain, injustice, fear.
Sadness thick with held-back tears.
The panicked heart, the strangled throat,
it’s all but curiosity to the dead girl.

The dead girl hears each lament.
Even in silence the dark seeps through,
and in her repose, she only knows,
the futility of emotion.

27 comments:

  1. You say a lot in a short space...I especially like the first verse.

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  2. On the whole, I prefer your poem to many which usethe prompt form.
    I have such a literal mind that I couldn't get to grips with Marvin Bell's idea. Thank you for your difference!

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  3. Hi Cynthia, As I'm taking a break from poetry I hadn't read the BTP prompt so I was intrigued to find out more. Having read the instructions and one of Mr Bell's pieces, I have to say that I prefer your poem; it is immediately understandable and very strong.

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  4. I like yours! I wrote only one for the prompt, not two as most have done!

    dead man and his shoe painting

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  5. Cynthia I love your approach to the prompt.
    Very well done.
    Pamela

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  6. Clear and effective, I also have no problem with losing the form (which I wasn't excited about anyway) here. It's provided some interesting and excellent poems, but this one does just fine without it.

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  7. The final, numbing rest...what a lovely phrase. I didn't use Bell's form at all, so I think you interpreted it well.

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  8. I found the prompt difficult - perhaps because I'm not enamored by Mr. Bell's lines. But yours has a ring of truth and tale that reads so very well.

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  9. Wow. This packs a whallop. The futility of emotions...!

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  10. "The futility of emotions" got me..yet in life all is feeling.

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  11. Cynthia, Life is but a dream. I love where you took us in this piece. Nice to read your words again!
    ~Brenda

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  12. Hi, Cynthia. I like your variation on the theme. (Can't really see the Dead Man poems as a form. Must be the Titular Figure getting in my way. perhaps if it had been "insert-stick-drawing-here" )

    Hope you have a happy holiday!

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  13. hmmm. the futility of emotion. so difficult to know our feelings can do so little b/c they are so big!

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  14. this is very good Cynthia......liked reading it very much....thanks for sharing

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  15. The pump off worked great.

    I love the idea of the dead girl hearing everything.

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  16. Cynthia, this is great. That futility really comes across.

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  17. This is heartbreaking. I wish you had an 'I love this post' button because I love this post. A wonderful poem.

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  19. Not lame at all. I like it. The dead girl, so detached, observing and studying those around her.

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  20. What James said, yes, not lame at all. In fact it is is powerfully evocative, with a killer ender...

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    EBENEZER.

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  23. oh and this is such an excellent write cynthia! :)

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  24. This is absolutely fantastic! I am extremely intrigued!

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