December 23, 2009

LIKE WATER (RWP #106)

(photo courtesy of Photobucket)
For this prompt idea, we were supposed to use repetition - of theme, idea, sound -(well, you get the idea). I have had snippets of this poem rattling around for a while but this finally gave me the impetus to finish it. (PS, it's really NOT about water...)

drip drip drip
so inconsequential - no rhyme, reason
tiny gentle droplets here, there
brushed away mindlessly and forgotten.

drip drip drip
building momentum - a steady tempo
a bit sharper now, much colder
constant aimed focus, hitting each sure spot.

drip drip drip
each splat hits cruelly - jabbing, stabbing
relentless ping, hard, sharp, icy
leaving jangling nerves and raw, bruised flesh.

drip drip drip
inevitable deep craters appear
large dark hollows leaving nothing
but echos of spirit, extinguished by

drip drip drip

14 comments:

  1. Hi Cynthia,

    Sad how insistent criticism, carping comments, cruel and cold can erode the confidence and weaken the spirit. An appropriate if melancholy subject for this prompt.

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  2. Using the prompt to show how constant 'pick, pick, pick' can bring a person down...

    Well played, Cynthia...

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  3. I admire how you repeat the appearance of stanzas on the page (a near-perfect syllabic repetition of 10/8/10 syllables per stanza). The repetition of drops gradually intensifies (like Poe's poems using repetition), just as dripping water, erosion, weathering, can wear down stone. Nice work!

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  4. I like the way your response to the prompt illustrates clearly that repetition changes things, simple drips eroding away caverns or canyons. The drip that alone is brushed away and forgotten becomes, with repetition, cruel, jabbing, relentless. Nice!

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  5. Isn't it funny how long those snippets can rattle in our heads? Yours turned into a lovely poem.

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  6. I do identify with the drip drip drip...how it leaves deep craters. Thanks for writing this. Merry Christmas Cynthia.

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  7. One inevitable conclusion reached here well by the repetitive image invoked. I like much what Paul also said, about the poem process here.

    Death by a thousand small cuts? Sort of the same. But "drips" are a so so gentle way to build the greater image here. (And I'm not enamored of such at all) but came also an image mid-way of how pleasure and pain can also be so close, even cross sides sometimes. Not quite sure how that derived, but perhaps because this poem draws itself so close and precisely down the line in between. All the more impressive that way I think. The result then comes all in the fall (drip by drip).

    Provocative Cynthia. Nicely done.

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  8. Drip, drip, drip destroys rock, creates canyons, decimates the strong. Fine piece of work!

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  9. I really like the idea of the dripping as repetition, the way it imitates the meter of poetry, here also as torment--I took it to be small hurtful things said or done by someone else. Of course, there is the dripping faucet it directly imitates, the constant ever present nagging, minor but cumulatively exhausting.

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  10. You did a great job with the prompt, the repetition of the "drip drip drip" and the way its effect builds up through the poem beautifully develops its metaphor.

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  11. From a drop to cater, this poem moves so well

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  12. Ahh, now I see what you mean. That is weird how our minds moved in the same direction for this prompt. And it's good that we both interpreted ripples in distinct but equally valid ways. I love your creativity.

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  13. I feel the drip, drip, drip building to a destructive end. Very nice take on the prompt. Sometimes you just need to get that out!

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  14. Oh my, I love how you moulded the idea behind dripping as the poem progressed. Very nice.

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