February 23, 2010

Branches (RWP #115)

(photo courtesy of Photobucket)
This prompt suggestion to compile lists of what we do believe or not believe was quite interesting and soul searching. Upon examining both my lists it gave me an idea to take one of the things I believe in (commitment in a relationship) and turn it into a negative. Here is what I came up with.

Like young green willow
you’ve woven in-

twining amongst and
piercing through,

each organ, breath
and thought, until

enmeshed-
resigned-

I’ve mastered ways
to navigate

within these bonds
and carve

small freedoms
within my cage.
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17 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 25, 2010 at 7:29 AM

    nicely done. The green willow piercing idea is really strong.

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  2. rallentandaFebruary 25, 2010 at 7:34 AM

    Well as long as Vlad isn't sharing your cage
    you'll be OK!

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  3. AnonymousFebruary 25, 2010 at 7:45 AM

    Each organ, breath and thought...thank goodness for small freedoms. I really like this!

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  4. Paul OakleyFebruary 25, 2010 at 8:39 AM

    Very strong images here, the woven willow/ cage/ pierced organs... We most of us carve our freedoms from restrictive frameworks of various kinds. Thank you for a fine poem, Cynthia!

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  5. AnonymousFebruary 25, 2010 at 9:32 AM

    from Therese -- What a lovely poem! I think your strategy is brilliant -- to explore the opposite of your belief in commitment. What a sophisticated way to to put it to the test. Didn't someone once say that intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in your head at the same time?

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  6. mothervegFebruary 25, 2010 at 11:11 AM

    this felt nice...bravo!

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  7. Raven's Wing PoetryFebruary 25, 2010 at 12:44 PM

    I like how you juxtapose the search and desire for freedom with the enclosing nature of love and relationship. Well done.

    -Nicole

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  8. JamesFebruary 25, 2010 at 1:14 PM

    I idea of "carving small freedoms" within a cage is such a powerful notion. There's a sense of both hope and hopelessness in that line. Very nice.

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  9. AnonymousFebruary 25, 2010 at 1:27 PM

    Ooh, this is marvelous! It starts so cheerful, then foreboding, then powerful, and you tell an entire story with just a handful of words. Very cool!

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  10. rob kistnerFebruary 25, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    Interesting how a relationship can either complete or confine... thought provoking, and very well written Cynthia.

    ...rob

    Moonfall

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  11. AnonymousFebruary 25, 2010 at 5:32 PM

    Well, so many have said what works for this - I found its simplicity a perfect match to its subject.

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  12. Wayne PitchkoFebruary 25, 2010 at 9:09 PM

    nicely done....carving freedoms...... is really good...thanks for this

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  13. Tumblewords:February 25, 2010 at 9:58 PM

    Nice use of the prompt. You've done a fine job of moving from the beginning to the ending without being overly emotive. Enjoyed the read!

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  14. KarenFebruary 26, 2010 at 5:21 PM

    Ooh! I really like this! It contains beautiful imagery and language.

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  15. flaubertFebruary 26, 2010 at 7:00 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  16. flaubertFebruary 26, 2010 at 7:01 PM

    This is very nice and moves quite smoothly!
    Thanks for sharing.

    Pamela

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  17. Erin DavisFebruary 28, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    Love these images, and then the last 3 lines are just stunning, Cynthia!

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